Thank you once again for pointing out a new artist to me. I just love her work and its inner joy which is apparent beyond the external sorrow and fear. I also like what you said about taking a slightly less angry approach to the work. It’s another consideration. I have the book ... it’s inspiring. My stitched work is getting tinier and tinier in scale and that feels good to me right now. I can say what I want small and quiet but it carries an inner strength through its transience and unshoutiness. Who knows how it will be another day?! X
Her work is wonderful, isn’t it? The urgency of her making is palpable. I like the idea of small & precious needlework. I might pick up a needle & thread when i’m back in London - I fancy trying to embroider the outline of one of my self-portraits.
Thank you for linking back to this in your recent post! Both were a challenge, a delight, a panoply of things to think about and savor. Thank you. And I hope you feel better soon. I often find myself subconsciously going back to a very old message about how disrespectful it is to feel anything but grief or sorrow at the state of the world. But the thing is, there is always something to be sad about, and my sadness, while real, may not do as much for anyone as my joy, creation, passion, or love might do. When I start to feel the paralysis of all these catastrophes, both around the world and in the lives of those I hold dear, I keep coming back to the words of Audre Lorde: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
I’ve been taking care of a dear friend with very aggressive cancer who just started chemo and is suffering so deeply. It is hard to create when watching someone suffer like that. Add the daily news, my friends bitterly divorcing, my dad’s relapse into alcoholism…art and writing and even alone time feel downright indulgent. And maybe they are in some ways, but what the hell is wrong with indulgence now and then if it helps us keep going in a world filled with so much pain? I’d much rather heal myself through the act of creation than self-medicate with substances. But at the end of the one has a right to joy, whether it’s that duo having coffee in a war zone you wrote about or me reading something beautiful after a long day of holding my friend’s barf bag or you holding space for yourself despite your empathic heart. Whatever nourishes you, I hope you are able to “indulge” in it soon, and in great measure. I’m so grateful for you, for your words, for your art, for your perspectives, for your rigorous honesty and disarming authenticity, and for the fact that you are here writing even in the face of illness and spiritual fatigue.
You are an angel Erik. If there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that the human heart is incredible because it has the capacity to hold both joy and sorrow at the same time. We shouldn’t deny ourselves sadness anymore than we should deny ourselves a little indulgence: Feeling ALL the emotions is how we get through this life with compassion and love for ourselves and all other life forms on the planet.
I remember when I cared for mom it was like everything faded away around me and the “great mystery” of life was revealed to me, and that mystery was love. All I wanted to do was hug everybody and tell them what a miracle it was they were alive. It softened me in ways I never imagined. I’m sure you feel that with your friend too, that nothing else is important other than the act of caring and loving. Take care of yourself and thank you for being here; our conversations mean the world to me x
Thank you once again for pointing out a new artist to me. I just love her work and its inner joy which is apparent beyond the external sorrow and fear. I also like what you said about taking a slightly less angry approach to the work. It’s another consideration. I have the book ... it’s inspiring. My stitched work is getting tinier and tinier in scale and that feels good to me right now. I can say what I want small and quiet but it carries an inner strength through its transience and unshoutiness. Who knows how it will be another day?! X
Her work is wonderful, isn’t it? The urgency of her making is palpable. I like the idea of small & precious needlework. I might pick up a needle & thread when i’m back in London - I fancy trying to embroider the outline of one of my self-portraits.
Ahhh I might bring a teeny project with me then. The idea for me is portable, anytime, meaningful and no cost!!
Thank you for linking back to this in your recent post! Both were a challenge, a delight, a panoply of things to think about and savor. Thank you. And I hope you feel better soon. I often find myself subconsciously going back to a very old message about how disrespectful it is to feel anything but grief or sorrow at the state of the world. But the thing is, there is always something to be sad about, and my sadness, while real, may not do as much for anyone as my joy, creation, passion, or love might do. When I start to feel the paralysis of all these catastrophes, both around the world and in the lives of those I hold dear, I keep coming back to the words of Audre Lorde: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
I’ve been taking care of a dear friend with very aggressive cancer who just started chemo and is suffering so deeply. It is hard to create when watching someone suffer like that. Add the daily news, my friends bitterly divorcing, my dad’s relapse into alcoholism…art and writing and even alone time feel downright indulgent. And maybe they are in some ways, but what the hell is wrong with indulgence now and then if it helps us keep going in a world filled with so much pain? I’d much rather heal myself through the act of creation than self-medicate with substances. But at the end of the one has a right to joy, whether it’s that duo having coffee in a war zone you wrote about or me reading something beautiful after a long day of holding my friend’s barf bag or you holding space for yourself despite your empathic heart. Whatever nourishes you, I hope you are able to “indulge” in it soon, and in great measure. I’m so grateful for you, for your words, for your art, for your perspectives, for your rigorous honesty and disarming authenticity, and for the fact that you are here writing even in the face of illness and spiritual fatigue.
You are an angel Erik. If there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that the human heart is incredible because it has the capacity to hold both joy and sorrow at the same time. We shouldn’t deny ourselves sadness anymore than we should deny ourselves a little indulgence: Feeling ALL the emotions is how we get through this life with compassion and love for ourselves and all other life forms on the planet.
I remember when I cared for mom it was like everything faded away around me and the “great mystery” of life was revealed to me, and that mystery was love. All I wanted to do was hug everybody and tell them what a miracle it was they were alive. It softened me in ways I never imagined. I’m sure you feel that with your friend too, that nothing else is important other than the act of caring and loving. Take care of yourself and thank you for being here; our conversations mean the world to me x